Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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