Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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