are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
