Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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