If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
