i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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