i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i came on her dog
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
