I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
