Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
