he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I just went to clothing optional bar
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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