no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
