i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
