Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
