The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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