I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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