Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
