we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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