I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
