Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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