Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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