mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
