The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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