Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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