too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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