He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
