and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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