I faked an abortion last night.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
