Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
