no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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