Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
