I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
