Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
