It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
