Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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