K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
