Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
