Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame

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(770): View more from Georgia

Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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(212): View more from New York

i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light

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(708): View more from Illinois

you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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(703): View more from Virginia

It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

Fav 8 2241 1959
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.

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