would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
