Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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