Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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