Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
