I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I understand Curling. That high.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize