This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
