we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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