Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Randomize
