My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
