Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
