I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
