shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
