But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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