I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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