Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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