I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize