at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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