if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
