Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
