I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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