1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
