She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
