You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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