ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
